yawgmoth election speech

(Disclaimer: This speech is actually a collection of quotes of Arnold Schwarzenegger. The views expressed therein do not necessarily reflect my own)

Introduction

I arrived here in 1968. What a special day it was. I remember I arrived here with empty pockets but full of dreams, full of determination, full of desire. It was like, 'How can I be rich? How can I build my movie career? How can I become the most muscular man?' With my way of thinking, you always shoot for the top. It's the most difficult decision I've made in my entire life, except the one I made in 1978 when I decided to get a bikini wax.

Program

  • Milk is for babies. When you grow up you have to drink beer.
  • I think that gay marriage should be between a man and a woman.
  • If we get rid of the moon, women, those menstrual cycles are governed by the moon, will not get PMS. They will stop bitching and whining.
  • If it bleeds, we can kill it.
  • Money doesn't make you happy. I now have $50 million but I was just as happy when I had $48 million.
  • The best activities for your health are pumping and humping.

Acceptance speech

This is like winning an Oscar!… As if I would know!

Last updated by Yawgmoth's avatar Yawgmoth at